“That’s What She Said!”

Posted by Tiff in Momsanity | 1 comment

Lately, something has happened to Golfer. At 11, his once boyish voice is now stuck somewhere between squeak, squeal, and man. Sometimes he sounds like a stuck pig, and other times he says something in such a deep voice I turn around quickly to see what kind of big male is standing beside me. His shoulders and arms are widening and getting all muscley. He used to appreciate hugs, now he only likes forceful shoves on the back. He eats twice his body weight at every meal.

He growls. Like, all the time. Barks and growls and then explodes into the air like a maniacal imp intent on destroying the world.

I entered all those symptoms in to ‘WebMd”, and while it didn’t give me any specific answers as to what horrible medical condition he’s suffering with, it did suggest that maybe it’s the cause of all my tiredness. Word.

He’ll always be my little boy, but he’s not my little boy at the same time. This change from 10 to 11 years old has been as big a shift that I can remember. His body has matured. His face and voice have matured. His emotions and attitudes have also. His humor….well, his humor is trying to catch up.

Tonight, after watching a youtube video from Seananners on the brilliance that is Minecraft, Golfer said, “I just don’t get why those “That’s What She Said” jokes are so funny!” Seananners says that a lot in his videos. Frankly, I find them some of the funniest jokes around. It takes a simple, uncomplicated and boring sentence and turns it into something a little more spicy! But hearing Golfer talk about them as something that I needed to explain made me go all panicky inside. Our sex talks don’t go very smoothly. Not smoothly at all.

So I took the coward way out and widened my eyes like all, “It’s a mystery, those jokes!”

He kept talking out loud. “Like, I know you can’t say it with everything. It’s not funny after everything. But I don’t know when to say it! Like why is it funny to say it after “I’m holding on to some wood”? Can I say it after “I have to go to the bathroom!” ? I don’t think I can. I just don’t know why. Why is it funny after some things and not after others?”

The rest of the night, after anyone said something, I could see him mentally adding “That’s what she said!” to the end of the sentence and trying to decide if it was funny or not.

I think I’m going to let him work this one out on his own. His own personal 21st Century right of passage.

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