Priceline As Therapist.

Posted by Tiff in Momsanity | 8 comments

I’m sitting here doing the last minute prep work for our grand roadtrip to Washington state! To recap our trip, we’re heading up to the Life Is Good conference in Vancouver, but before that will spend a week traveling up to and staying in Seattle doing all things Seattley. Part of the prep work is getting sleeping arrangements made. For most of the nights we have great friends who have offered places to stay, but there are a few evenings that we’ll get hotels to sleep in. For this, I turn to Priceline.

So I’m sitting here looking at hotel prices in the areas I need them, and I notice a promotion where you put in the price you want to pay and the hotels can then accept (or not accept) it, rather than the other way around. It’s part of the whole “priceline negotiator” idea that I’ve seen on TV with William Shatner/Alec Baldwin, but find so annoying I tune them out completely. Aaaaah, so this is what they mean!

Immediately, I break into a sweat. I get nervous and all panicky the more I begin to consider this.

First I assume it must be a scam, even though it’s clearly a part of Priceline, and Priceline is no scam.

Second I assume there must be strings attached, and it’s not what it says it is, and they must get you in fees and taxes or something.

Thirdly, and this is where the panic comes from, I realize that I have no idea what I would ask for if I could have my way. I mean, everyone thinks they know what they would wish for if a genie granted them 3 wishes, but I don’t think if it actually happened people would be able to decide all that easily. Here I have a hotel fairy giving me one wish, and I can’t even think straight.

Normally, all this fear and anxiety would be enough to make me not try the priceline negotiator. But this year I’m all about exploring my fears instead of numbly and automatically reacting to them. What are they? Where do they come from? Are they valid? Helpful? Necessary?

So I dipped my toe into the world of negotiatoring.

You name your place. OK. You name what level of hotel you want, from one to four stars. Usually when I’m traveling with the kids and it’s just a quick night’s stay, I go for one to two stars, but I went for broke and said three. If negotiatoring is all about what I really want, I really really want a luxurious stay where there’s free wifi, the sheets don’t stink, there isn’t cigarette fumes and maybe there’s a free buffet in the morning. So, OK. Then you name your date, then you name your price. This made me nervous all over again. If priceline were an analogy for my life, then I’ve been much more comfortable taking whatever price hotels are offering than I have been at telling hotels what I’m willing to give them. In fact, I haven’t given a lot of thought to what I’m willing to give anyone or anything. It’s overwhelming and feels vulnerable. Like, how dare I assume that what I want (which is different) is any more important than what scores of other people are accepting and doing (which is the norm).

Are we taught, as kids, to really go for what we want? Or are we taught to be nice, polite and quiet, and do what everyone else is doing? Are we taught to be fearless in our opinions and values, or are we mostly ridiculed for expecting and wanting something way different from the accepted norm? And what are we teaching our kids?

I’m not going to lie, I paused at this moment in my negotiatoring and really had to work through some shit.

And then I started feeling a little ashamed and guilty that Priceline was bring up so much shit to work through. Like, hello, it’s just a number you type in to get cheap stuff! What’s wrong with me that I’m having a mini panic attack over it?! But I breathe and let it go, because shame and guilt never did nobody any good.

And then I decided to really let loose and go for it. 3 star hotel, normally in the area I was looking they’d go for $120, so I decided to bid half that. $60. I clicked ‘submit’ and waited. And waited a little more. And then….

My shitstorm of fear gave way to a feeling of euphoria! And then I immediately thought that dammit, I should have gone for $40! And 4 stars! I’m worth it!!!!

I can’t wait to do more negotiatoring. Thanks Priceline, for helping me work some kinks out. For only $60, you’re much cheaper than a therapist!

I’m interested in knowing where you fit in the “asking for what I want” continuum of anxiety:

[polldaddy poll=5057645]

Incidentally, if anyone is up in the Seattle/Vancouver area, we’ll be hanging around from the 21st through the 30th. Give a holler in the comments or via email for a meet up!

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