2e Tuesday::Emergency Quick Fix for Parental Stress.

Posted by Tiff in Dyslexia, Out Of The Box Thinkers | 2 comments

My 2e Tuesday blogs talk specifically about 2e, or twice exceptional learning…kids who are both gifted AND have learning differences; ie, dyslexia, sensory issues, dyscalculia, CAPD, etc., etc., etc. These kids don’t fit into any standardized molds, which makes for some traumatic experiences in our current over-regulated states of education and parenting. They aren’t ‘typical’ sequential, orderly thinkers, and this affects every area of their lives. But generally these 2e blogs are also about questioning if anyone really DOES fit into a “normal” range, and why is it so important to think we should? I’d rather everyone celebrate that we are all unique individuals instead of molding everyone into a nicely boring square peg.

Of course, celebrating the unique can lead to certain amount of stress. Everything is a little more wild and crazy. Nothing is as regulated or predictable, and everyone’s timeline for learning things can be vastly different. You leap into a world of unknown, not sure how anything is going to work out but holding doggedly to a trust that it all will. It’s exactly what I did with Naturalist when I pulled her out of school at 9 and she yelled “I’m never going to read a book for the rest of my life!”. To a dyslexic child, forced daily readings at home and at school is a serious form of torture. So I told her she never had to read if she didn’t feel the need to. So she didn’t for a long time. Until the Warriors books came out when she was 12, and her deep love of cats and a good story helped her work through the dyslexia to start reading like a fiend. But you better believe that in those 3 years of not reading, I was worried sick.

I know, I know, I’ve blogged a lot about how to handle stress–running, jumping, meditating, playing, reading, talking, etc. Because the thing is, if we don’t deal with our own stress then it bleeds out onto our kids. So lets say I’m getting stressed that, at 7, Sassy doesn’t know how to spell her name yet, or read a book. It doesn’t mean that she’s stressed that she can’t do those things. It’s my burden, not hers. Do I think that someday she’ll spell her name? yes. Do I think that someday she’ll read a book? yes. It may not be until she’s 12, like Naturalist, but I know it will happen when she’s ready. So I can lighten up, work my stress out on my own, and continue to celebrate and encourage her on her own path. Or I can let the stress take over and start coercing her to learn what I want her to learn when I want her to learn it. I can focus on her weaknesses and create a feeling between us that I’m worried, upset, and/or not pleased…which only serves to undermine my trust in her and even worse, her trust in herself.

It’s always a good idea to find an outlet for your stress before it becomes your child’s burden.

And what is better for stress than a martini?!

Hahahaha. I kid.

Kind of!

I mean, other forms of stress control are better in the long run, but sometimes you need a kickstart to get you there, am I right?! So if that’s what you need, I’ve got something for you.

I’m just a year into drinking, so I realize that many of you have moved on from frilly fruity drinks and are in wine country. But I’m still more wine cooler than wine. So. I made up my own special recipe! I consider this the best martini I’ve ever had, and even though modesty demands that I use “one of” in front of “the best”, I’m going to leave it out…I’m also going to immodestly keep the name a waitress in Washington gave it: “The Tifftini”

The recipe:

equal parts…

whipped cream vodka
Godiva Chocolate liqueur (white, dark, or milk!)
Peppermint Schnapps (aka Rumplemintze)
Baileys
Whole Milk (or cream, if you want to go crazy with it!)

This tastes just like a Thin Mint. The deliciousness masks the rather high alcohol content, so it could also be called “The Troublemaker” (or, as my sister likes to call it, “Whorin’ It Up”). I just want to illustrate this fact before you all go out and mix one (or four) up for yourselves and end up sleeping on your front lawn with a magic marker mustache drawn on your face and toilet paper for clothes. I don’t want to have that on my conscience.

Tara, the one and only Organic Sister, will help illustrate. She was there when the Tifftini made it’s debut, and these are the actual photos I took of the event. Also note the effect that the Tifftini has on photography, please.

Hi Tara! Let’s have a Tifftini! Ha!

Tara! I wish you would stop moving around so much! You’re so blurry I can’t even focus on you! Hahahahahahahaha!

Wasn’t that drink delicious?! Let’s have another one!!!

Oh man. T! You won’t stop moving! I can’t even see you anymore! Which one of us is moving? You or me?! HahahahahhahahahAHAHAHAHAhahahhahahaha!

Who cares. Let’s have another! HAHAHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

Maybe I can just lay down on your lap and giggle for a while. The room seems to be spinning! Do you mind if I take a little nap, too? HAHAhahaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……*snore*
*************

So, to sum up, allowing for uniqueness in kids can lead to adult stress when they show that they actually are really very unique. Because they don’t do things in the way or in the time that everyone else does. So find some stress release for yourself, either through an activity or interest or hobby or anything. And if worse comes to worse and you need an emergency quick fix, find yourself some good friends, make yourselves some Tifftinis, and let it all hang out!

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