The Lesson of the Parking Spaces.
While at the Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference a couple weeks ago, I met up with some awesome families and we went out to an awesome dinner together. I was hungry and in a rush to sit down and start shoving food in my face, so when I parked I did it…haphazardly. I was still in between my stall lines (marginally) but was definitely a little tilted compared to everyone else parked there. I don’t have a picture, but it looked like this, with the lines representing cars:
I I I I / I I I I
guess which one I was?
Sara laughed at me and asked if I was really going to leave it like that, and I laughed at her for thinking there was even a chance I’d spend 3 more minutes re-parking when there was good food 5 feet away. We walked in, I indeed stuffed my face, we talked and laughed, and walked out an hour later. The parking lot was transformed. Now, the cars all looked like this:
/ / / / / / / / /
My wonky slanted parking orientation was the new standard. It really started me thinking. Now, if someone came in and parked straight, it would throw off the mojo of the rest of us, who just an hour or so earlier would have thrown off the mojo of the straight parked people. So fluid and variable!
This is true not just in parking stalls, but in our interactions with people in life. If we have thoughts, ideas, interests, style, or activities that are perceived as a little slanted by “normal” society, then we stand out. We throw off the mojo of the people around us. We get laughed at, or maybe even a nasty note on our symbolic side window saying something like, “LEARN TO PARK, ASSHOLE!” We stand out as being different. Sometimes we take the time to reorient ourselves to be more like how everyone else is parking so as not to make a fuss or heaven forbid make things difficult for other people.
Well…today I’m calling bullshit on that.
I’m encouraging you to park a little wonky if you want, in real life AND symbolically speaking.
For a long time, I didn’t talk a lot about our unschooling life to people. I hid it as best I could! In our home, I believed in positive, attached parenting, passion driven learning, saying yes instead of no, & ditching rules and punishments in favor of principles and communication. I didn’t live a life like everyone around me. My kids ate what they wanted when they wanted it, didn’t go to school and didn’t have compulsory curriculum. They were responsible for making choices about their bodies and what they did with them…bedtimes, get up times, activity times, etc. We partnered up together to help craft a life that everyone was happy about, whether we agreed with what the person was wanting/needing or not. We focused on unconditional love and trust. All these things are still important for us, almost 6 years later!
It’s amazing how something so intuitive to me is looked at as so neglectful and harmful to some people I meet. It’s hard to pull my figurative car up and park confidently wonky next to a straight “normal” parking job. So for a while I parked wonky in my own garage, but would straighten out when in public. That way I could appear like everyone else, and not get the nasty messages on my window.
But, in the words of Stevie Nicks, time’s made me bolder…even children get older…
Now, I couldn’t hide what we do or how I feel if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Instead of letting other people influence the way I live (or, in this analogy, park), I’ve reversed it and am willing to stand out and maybe influence how other people live (park, whatever.) Life can be simplified as such.
Are you being influenced, or doing the influencing?
Chances are, if you’re reading this blog, you are awesome and a little wacky. Probably not quite right in the head. Most definitely off the beaten path. It’s what I love most about you. The reasons for this may vary from person to person, but the end result is a whole bunch of awesome! So be awesome. Share and talk about what you do in your life and why you do it. Embracing your authenticity keeps it growing and developing!
Chances are, even if you start out going against the grain at first, you’ll find that eventually you can play a large part of changing what the grain is to the people around you!
Share Tweet8 Comments
One day I hope to have the courage to park slanted out of the garage. Don't know what is stopping me.
I'm sending you a wonky high-five right now!
True Story: once, I came out of a grocery store and found a note stuck to my windshield that said, "Next time, why don't you use a can opener?" I looked around, checked to see if I was parked wonky, I wasn't. I have no idea what that meant, but it is golden. I really want to pass it on to someone else so that this mystery can continue…like, I'm on my deathbed for a week, in a coma, then I suddenly sit straight up and say, "Next time, why don't you use a can opener?" and fall dramatically back and die. My family will be standing around going, "What the hell did Grandma just say? What does that even mean?!!!"
We live our unschooling lives out loud and proud down here around the folks we know. It's not about approval or acceptance from the ones we don't, though. We are not in a progressive, liberal, or consistently intelligent area. What we are in is a bible thumping town with violent cyclonic gossip activity. (for example, when word got out that me & ash were pulled over on my scooter, two people asked me, "DUI?" Apparently, I need to work on my public image and stop drinking wine on my back deck.) So, I do keep most of what we get up to offline/down Main Street. I've had a few run-ins with the local Board of Education about homeschooling guidelines. We had so much more freedom in Ky. Down here, we must maintain an attendance record monthly and testing every three years. The home-school liaison for the BOE told me during our first conversation that it is her mission from God to find loopholes in the state legislation to protect the kids with stricter guidelines. I took that to mean she isn't working for us, so much as against us. We don't hang out. Ya know… Plus my mil worked for the local BOE when they lived down here fifteen years ago, and since she is estranged from my husband and perpetually on a witch-hunt against me, I'd rather not have a public record (blog) she can print out and use against me. Because she so would.
We've made plans to move out of here, hopefully by the end of next summer. We're heading more northern and more eastern. After that…and especially with the vw bus, I'm not interested in even attempting to hide out. It's futile effort anyway. I just can't maintain for long, haha! I'm a wonky parker…no use trying to fight it now.
Thank you so much for this! We are going through a rough time with my in-laws telling my kids what they should or shouldn't be doing and what my husband and I should or shouldn't be doing. To hell with them, we're a little wonky and we like it that way. lol
"Embracing your authenticity keeps it growing and developing! " Powerful stuff.
Brilliant! Thanks! Love!
Just what I needed to read right now. Thanks!!!
Yes! I love it! I have been telling people we're homeschooling, and I have received a surprisingly positive response! I think it's good to not hide such things, as we just might inspire other people, just as you inspired me!!
Another post to file away in the Proof that Tiff is Awesome folder.