The Birth of A Homeschooler!
You guys!!! We have the rare opportunity to watch the birth of a new homeschooler. Naturally, it will be a home birth. And my good friend Jen, who is both doing the birthing AND being born, has invited us all in to watch the process happen! She’s already been laboring for a good 4-5 years now, doing that dance with the school system of both trying to fit your kid into something that they don’t while also trying to encourage your kid to be themselves. While also trying to keep from going crazy. While trying to maintain a running household. While trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
Support is such an important thing when shifting into homeschooling, so I wanted to create a space for her new endeavor here so we could all encourage, offer insights, even ask our own questions about things. The world of home education is a great big vast area, and she still doesn’t know where she’s going to end up…with a curriculum? Without one? Back in a charter/private school?
What is your advice for a new homeschooler? Leave it in the comments or on the freeplaylife facebook page!
We’ve got our very own reality TV show right here, ladies and gentlemen!
Take it away, Jen!
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Sooo…what happens when a Type A first-born ungodly organized linear thinking mostly-
conformist former music teacher finally breaks down and decides to homeschool her
twice-exceptional Type A first-born ungodly disorganized visual spatial complex out-of-
the box son?
Beats hell outta me. And it’s my life.
I met Tiffani a few years ago through our blogs, then learned we lived in the same
tiny little town outside Boulder. She was homeschooling her three kids, living in the most
gorgeous house in the world (sorry Tiff, still love your house), and had hair. Long hair.
Lots of it. I was nowhere near homeschooling. My sons were doing well in public
school…mostly…and while I always kept homeschooling in mind as a OMFG LAST
RESORT, it was so far off the radar as to be invisible.
She invited me to a math morning at her house one day, and I went, just to see what
homeschooling could look like. It was, as you might imagine, awesome. Eclectic
learning with They Might Be Giants on YouTube and building elaborate geometric
creations from marshmallows and toothpicks. And hot chocolate. Because it was cold
out.
Another day, two-odd years ago, my boys and I met her and her crew at the Denver Art
Museum (or as my oldest likes to say, DAM…so he can “swear”). And what I most
noticed was how laid-back all four of them were about the day. I was prepped to drag
my boys through various exhibits, show them some art (sorry, I grew up in Chicago and
went to the Art Institute, DAM couldn’t compete), and probably end up with a van of
grumpy people heading home. They were engaged in laid-back, but not lacking,
learning. There was plenty of learning going on that day, it was just…relaxed. I may not
be relaxed…yet…but I like relaxed.
Fast forward to today. Tiffani is now living in California, we’re all living in Chicago. The
new school here was unable to accommodate our son and his (see the description
above) challenges. They tried, God love his teacher she tried, but the situation was
getting uglier by the day. I’m certain that if we’d continued with the district’s special ed
evaluation he would have “earned” an Emotional Disorder label. In fifth grade.
No thanks.
We’ve just begun this Great Homeschooling Journey, and already the stress level in the
House of Chaos has dropped. While we’re still in the deschooling stage, I can already
see my son coming out of the box into which school shoved him. The child who so
hated writing that he would have preferred to de-skunk the dog with his tongue has
written a story two days in a row. He loves that it’s quiet, and that he can concentrate,
and that learning is fun again. His younger brother? Still in public school. He’s doing
well there, and frankly, he needs the opportunity to be known as someone other than
“A’s little brother.” Jury’s still out as to when or even if we bring him home too.
Tiff has asked if I would mind being the “face” of a new homeschooler here, and have
you all follow along on this journey. Dude, get on board. This is new and exciting, but I
am also terri?ed that I am totally going to screw up my kid. I mean, even more than I
already have. While I have researched the hell outta this, it’s like giving birth. You can
read all the books you want, but the kid hasn’t read them and wouldn’t honey badger
give a shit if he had.
So there ya go. I’m looking forward to meeting all of you, maybe picking your brains
(brrraaaiinnnnssss…), and giving my son a more personalized education than the one
he was getting.
Oh, and for P.E.?
Hooping. Naturally.
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Jen writes over at Laughing at Chaos, where every day is just a little crazier than the
day before. You can also ?nd her…sometimes…on Twitter.
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Don’t forget to leave any and all words of wisdom for a new homeschooler in the comments or on the freeplaylife facebook page!
10 Comments
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- I’m not here. I’m over there. - [...] over at freeplaylife today, guest posting about being a new homeschooler. Tiff has been a mentor of sorts when it ...
I’m a first born, would love to be terribly organized except I live with three folks who have zero desire for any of this, former teacher, who never sent her kids to school. So I don’t have much to say on what it’s like to begin from where you are.
I do however, have a thing or two to say about the letting go that happens. I swear if I had to describe our unschooling journey in one word (okay I guess it’s two) it would be LETTING GO!
I think it’s easy to look at our kids when we begin this journey. What will I do for them, with them or hell even to them. But for me the hardest shift came in realizing this was more about me and my shit then it was about them. See they are kids, showing up in the world free of the sort of chatter it has taken us adult a lifetime to gather in our minds.
So my boys were great unschoolers/homeschoolers/eclectic learners (which ever word sits best with you) from the get go. I was the one who had to do the work. The tough inward looking, letting go, relearning. It’s rough somedays. It’s grand other days.
If I had to pick the one tool that pushed me along .. it would be journalling my crazy away. Putting all my fears, thoughts, concerns on to a piece of paper, as opposed to on to my kids! I say it now like I did it all perfectly but I sure didn’t. I can still see the marks on my oldest son of those day when I misfired.
I also think the other thing, that I wish I had learned earlier on in the journey is to give myself arms wide open permission to make mistakes. And to recover from them with the sort of humbled grace that demonstrates the sheer power of vulnerability and learning that comes when picking one’s self up from a mistake.
And things are off to a great start if you have Tiffany in your corner. Find more folks like that. Not the sorts that will tell you its awesome and great all the time. The sorts that will admit some days are just like de-skunking the dog with your tongue and cry with you!
I wish you a grand journey.
I love everything you said here! Thanks for sharing it <3
Letting go is such a good summation. It all works out. 1st born former uber organized chic here who has let so much go. My kiddos has never been in school and that thrills me. Good luck on your adventure and ask help if you need it.It appears that you have great support in tiff
love it!
Welcome aboard Jen!
It’s great to have you join us and I’m totally psyched for your and your sons new adventure – rock it Sweetie
Jen!
Congrats on your homebirthed homeschool journey!! We just started homeschooling my son in August after putting through two miserable years of public school (He is almost 9 years old.) We also homeschooled him for kindergarten but I don’t count that! My daughter is kindergarten age but is in another year of Pre-K three days a week. She’ll be homeschooled next year.
I still have my fears about certain things (like will he ever want to learn how to multiply or divide?) I have really just let him do his thing this year. He started out learning about space, so we went to the library and checked out all of the books on space, and visited the local observatory and physics department at the university. A friend loaned us the entire Carl Sagan series. After that he moved onto electricity, so we checked out a bunch of books on electricity and magnets and experiments you can do at home. My husband has a pretty good working knowledge of electricity and in just a couple of months, my son has surpassed him in knowledge.
So, my advice: go with the flow! Don’t go crazy signing up for lessons, or classes. Your child really probably wants to stay at home or go the library or the park or into the woods. Make his life a little less hectic and scheduled that the school life he was just experiencing. If anything, sign yourself up for some evening classes (yoga, pottery, book group–whatever interests YOU because YOU are going to need a break! Trust me!!) Read books by John Taylor Gatto and John Holt and meet other homeschooling parents and adults who were homeschooled (so you can see proof that they do turn out!).
Most of all, enjoy this new freedom!! Sit outside with your child on nice days and just be. And try not to forget to take care of yourself. My child is super happy being homeschooled; it’s me that has needed to adjust and find other ways to have time to myself so I don’t go crazy. I can tell you that listening to him talk about electricity 12 hours a day is about enough to put me over the edge! Finally, remember all that your child learned before he ever went to school. He learned an entire language, to walk, to write, to draw, etc, etc!!! All of this happened in your presence and you really didn’t have to work that hard to get him to do any of those things, right? He was self motivated to learn them! I bet with a little time, his self motivation to learn will come back and all you need to do is provide the materials, and/or websites, etc to get him going!
Good luck!!
oh, this is super good Miss Amy!
I’m so glad your homeschooling path is working out so awesomely <3
I can’t thank you all enough for your comments and suggestions! So far things are going well, and I’m even (gasp!) enjoying myself! The stress level in our house is MUCH lower, and I’m hopeful that will continue. When I start to feel myself freaking out over OMG HE’S NOT GOING TO LEARN ANYTHING, I take a step back and have a little conference with myself. He is such a bright kid and it’s going to be ok. Maybe not right now, but eventually.
I think I just love you!
I was in your exact position 1.5 years ago…I woke up at 3am every night for about 3 months thinking “OMG am I making a mistake? What if what if what if???” Anyhooo, the pre dawn wakings have subsided, the joy has grown exponentially and overall confidence (the kids and us parents) has increased incredibly. I can truly see now that we are learning ALL THE TIME, and that there are many many ways to get from A to B.
My only advice is : choose what YOU enjoy as well as what your kids enjoy, say “YES” lots, and ultimately strap in for the ride of your life! Because as you choose to step outside of the box, your world kind of tends to….explode! Bravery grows, adventure beckons and you open yourself up to authenticity.
Enjoy, and remember there is nothing wrong with movies and popcorn if you are feeling a bit low on educational ideas….and a walk/bike ride,hula hoop outside cures almost all arguments.