Show Yourself
I’m getting ready to head off to Las Fucking Vegas for the weekend, to meet up with some of the best girlfriends ever. (heh, I mistyped that as ‘girlfiends’ and am really tempted to keep it like that…) We live all over the country, so this is going to be a rare treat. Here’s the kicker…do you want to know how I knew many of them were going to be my BFF’s? A majority of them owned rainbow socks before we even knew each other. Rainbow socks! It’s a sign! And sure enough, these women are all like gold to me.
I wouldn’t have known this if I hadn’t found that long bright socks were part of my superhero garb. And in fact, when I put my rainbow socks on not everyone likes them. People can be kind of douchey about it actually. But I’ve reached a nice point in my existence of caring more about what I think and feel than about what other people think and feel. Otherwise, I couldn’t wear even half of my superhero outfit. I remember I was in Colorado, packing to move to So. Cal, and I was losing my mind and couldn’t deal with one. more. thing. So I cut my hair into a boy cut. I started wearing jeans and a tank top. I discovered I loved reflective aviator glasses. I got a tattoo. Tattoo’s, by the way, in my former religion are so verboten that when I came back showing off my newly inked wrist, Golfer (at 8!) was really worried they wouldn’t let me back in church again. I stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the other suburban mothers in the area…but I’d started unschooling by then so sticking out was kind of par for the course. It felt so fantastically me for the first time in my life, regardless of what other people thought.
Yada yada yada, 6 months later I moved to West Hollywood. I had just separated from my then husband. I was feeling confused, alone, sad, and insecure to say the least. I went out for my first walk around the neighborhood with Frito, my small shih tzu. It didn’t take long before I noticed something. For the first time in my whole life, I fit in. Before this, when I “fit in” it was because I was trying to be as normal as possible which didn’t actually feel all that comfortable. But now, after choosing how I wanted to look regardless of how inconspicuous it made me in small town Colorado, I found myself perfectly at ease in urban city Los Angeles. Everywhere I looked…people walking small dogs. Everyone in aviators. Cute hair. Badass tattoos. Jeans and tanks tops galore. I had found my tribe, which was as surprising to this formerly mormon girl as it was to all my newfound friends that happened to be gay.
I know it’s only hair, clothes, external things. But that doesn’t make it superficial. If anything, being outwardly expressive of an inner feeling/passion/creativity is a really empowering way to be authentically you. And ironically, the more you clothe yourself in your style, the more naked you might feel by putting it all out there. It’s vulnerable to show yourself.
If you can do this, though, the quicker you can weed out the douchebags who will always have an opinion about how you look. I joke that having a shaved head is like walking around with a douche detector on my head. A guy I was seeing at the time looked me up and down when I unveiled my head and casually remarked, “So. When are you growing it back out?” And wow, in all the 5 months I knew him, it wasn’t until right then that I realized he was kind of a douche. The more you show yourself, the less amount of time you have to suffer fools. And, on the happy side, the more you show yourself the quicker you connect with other people who value and appreciate your self expression. It’s really a win/win.
I am so much happier in my connections and relationships the more authentic I am with myself. After a lifetime of feeling like I had to hide my true self in order to fit in, it’s fucking awesome to have a supportive network of people around me that encourage and embrace me for who I am…craziness and all. And others welcome me in to their craziness, and that’s when the real party starts.
There’s a post over at Breaking Daylight where she talks about her Superhero path, and what she’s found out about herself on it!
There’s also a post over at Eclectic Reality where she talks about the moment in her life when she started hiding her superhero self (all the way back in high school) and what it’s like for her now that she’s reconnecting to that power again.
And now, you must excuse me…I have packing to do. You better believe that all of us superheroes are stepping out in Vegas with our sparkly, long socked, aviator wearing, hula hooping selves! And we’re going to laugh, and play, and validate the shit out of each other! You are welcome to join along in your own way and in your own costumes and with your own friends. I’ll also be tweeting our debauchery, at least the parts that are fit to share.
Just remember, don’t stop till you get enough!
Share TweetSuperheroes In Training
All kinds of badass superhero pictures are popping up on the freeplaylife facebook page (click on the “everyone” tab to see them all!)…pictures that ladies (and men!) have made at this website to embody their inner and outer strength and awesomeness. The “Make Your Own Superhero” Challenge is here…have you made yours yet?!
Lots of people, me included, got our kids involved and helped them make their own superhero avatar too. I saw all three of my kids avatars next to my own and wished I had a sewing machine and the proper sewing knowledge to make the costumes that we’d chosen for our superheroes. The good thing about being unschoolers is that the “regular” population assumes we’re pretty crazy anyway, so it makes it that much more acceptable to not follow the norm. All I have to do is mouth “we’re unschoolers” and that explains everything. To the people who know what unschooling is, anyway. To the uninitiated then we’re the ones giving them the idea that unschooling = crazy. I love that.
So, yeah. In our street clothes, we look like this:
Even in our street clothes, we stand out. It might have something to do with three shaved heads and a girl with a rainbow mohawk walking around together.
I’m not naturally inclined to stand out like this. And it took me a while before I was OK to have my kids stand out like this. I was born and raised to understand that the most important things to be in life are normal, nice, and acceptable. And here we are walking around looking nothing like normal, nice, and acceptable people.
What made the difference? Finding my own superhero. Realizing that she’s always wanted to rock a shaved head. Realizing that she finds normal really boring and very depressing. I’ve kind of been a superhero in training the last couple years, and the more I listen to what it is that part of me wants, the better I get at making choices for myself. No one can hear that voice or make those choices for me…the path towards superherodom is paved with self reliance.
The superhero in me started seeing and honoring the superhero in everyone around me…including my kids. So when Naturalist said she wanted to shave her head too, I surrendered all my parental fears about her femininity, appearance, and maybe poor choice and allowed her to undertake her own superhero in training path. When Sassy said she wanted a rainbow mohawk (something she’s asked about since she was 2) I did the same. It’s never too early to embark on the path of the superhero!
You’ve never seen a kid so freaking happy about their hair. When it’s not in full mohawk mode, she looks like real life rainbow dash.
I’m not immune to the looks and stares, or to the points or whispers when we all walk by. Before I valued my inner superhero, I wouldn’t have let either daughter change their appearance like that. I would have been more like the people who have come up to tell me, “My daughter wants to shave her head, but I told her I’d kick her butt if she did!” When I asked the woman for more details, she said “well, you know, she’s a Mary Kay rep and she needs to look pretty!”
It’s amazing how clearly spelled out just how narrow our society’s vision of beauty is when you veer away from it in look, appearance, or style. It’s a powerful force, the idea of “normal” and “fitting in”. No one wants to be left out or ostracized, and no one wants that for their kids. It’s why parents pick out clothes for their children instead of letting them assemble something like rainboots with a tutu, checkered shirt and sequined vest. It’s why we are so invested in their hairstyles (I can’t count the number of times moms come up to me saying, “I would never let my kid do that”), fashion, attitudes, manners, sports, hobbies…etc., etc.
The best way we honor our own authentic voice is to follow our individual superhero path. Spiderman could never be Superman who could never be the Hulk.
The best way we honor our kids own authentic voice is to step back and allow them to follow their own individual superhero path.
Yes, they will make mistakes. Yes, so will you.
If what they want has no permanent consequences, then I leave it up to them. Hair, clothes, food, sleep…these are all things that superheroes in training need to figure out. I find ways to support their path while being realistic about the consequences. When Sassy said she wanted a rainbow tattooed across her face I suggested perhaps a marker rainbow would be better for now.
When Naturalist and her teenage mind go clothes shopping, the superhero in me–long socks, aviator glasses, feather earrings and all–recognizes that the superhero in her will need to explore and try lots of things before settling on her superhero outfit. Some of her choices I LOVE, and some I really can’t stand. But it goes both ways. She wasn’t fond of this sparkly number I picked out. And that’s OK. We’ve learned that superheroes don’t dress the same, but they all need an outfit. So we respect that even if we disagree about what makes a good superhero frock.
Respect that the people around you are, like you, superheroes trying to find their own powers. Especially your kids. After all, self reliance is one of the most powerful tools a superhero can equip themselves with. It takes trial and error. It takes courage to follow your inner voice rather than all the outer voices with other ideas…and to allow your child the same benefit. It takes trust in yourself and your kid.
Looking back down the way we’ve come, though, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Superheroes rock, and it’s never to early to start!
Share Tweet52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 6!
Bitches! We have 2 weeks left to establish our superhero status. You are a superhero…have been since birth…but now’s your chance to really claim it this year. So far this month we’ve found our theme song and discovered a little more what our superhero garb is. Even if you’re still not sure about either of those things, the point is you’re on the lookout. As long as you’re aware of what you’re looking to find, things have a way of finding you out!
This week, challenge #6, is all about superhero tools.
Spiderman has his sticky strong web.
Thor has his mighty big hammer.
He Man has his hefty sword.
Batman has lots of things all over…fancy belt, cool car…he’s tricked out.
Wonder Woman has her lasso of truth. (wtf is that shit?!? I’ve always thought she got robbed, even when I was 9 and watching the Justice League. A lasso? That makes people tell her the truth?! Lame!)
What do you have to help you along on this journey through life?
What are the tools that helps your superhero ass out?
What does your superhero look like?
I’ve thought about this question for the last 2 years. It’s taken me about that long to figure it out, but I’ve never been accused of being a quick study. Do you want to see what my tools are? The things that keep me going on this freeplaylife path of awesome?
All I need:
badass Hula Hoop
chucks
hipster sunglasses (or some sweet aviator shades, but my last pair just broke)
long patterned socks
body glitter
DSLR camera
For whatever reason, my psyche has attached more than a surface meaning to these items. These give me a ridiculous amount of joy in my life, which I didn’t know until I started asking myself “what do you want? what makes you happy?” The same questions you’re asking yourself. If you don’t have the answers, like I didn’t at first, then do what I did: explore. push past your own comfort boundaries. say yes to experiences you’d normally say no to.
The year I spent in WeHo was a whirlwind of new sights and sounds. Mom’s night out up there in the big city consisted of drum circles, luchador wrestling , burlesque performances, tandem yoga on the beach, bar crawls, and back alley musical concerts. I’d never done any of that, but opened my life up in an attitude of yes and so decided to just jump in and try. I even took regular pole dancing classes that a friend offered. I didn’t continue with the pole when I moved down to the OC, but it’s where I learned about body glitter and that goes with me everywhere!
Your superhero tools will be things that you do just for you. They are the things that soothe you after a stressful day. They will fill you up with a happiness independent of what you’re doing, where you are, what has happened. They’re almost like security blankets, or a calm in the storm. Maybe you garden after a long day? Knit? Drink wine? Sing? Sew? Scrapbook? Take pictures? Draw/paint? Do yoga? Your tools would then be knitting needles, garden tools, a wine glass, a microphone, needles or yarn, scissors, a camera, and/or charcoal pencils/paintbrushes.
I hoop. I’ll talk more about it this week. But, my superhero tool is my hoop. When I’m hooping, time melts away. Stress melts away. I feel like I step into a protective bubble of awesome. I tap in to this thing called “flow” that is like floating down a peaceful river. This is what your tool(s) will help you feel like. Please note, your level of ability with your tool of choice can be craptacularly terrible and it still counts. It’s not how well you do with it, but just that you do it! If you feel pulled to sing, no matter what your voice sounds like, then sing. If you find calm and happy while drawing, then no matter how basic you are, just draw.
Some of you will automatically know what your tools are. Some of you, like me, won’t have a clue at first. Finding your superhero tool is a bit like falling in love…that crazy kind of overwhelming happiness that puts a spring in your step and gives you something to think about almost obsessively. You can’t wait to get your hands on it, and hate to leave when you have to.
Don’t settle for anything less than that. Things that make you feel like that are transformative catalysts that lead to powerful personal growth. And that’s what we’re after this year. Whimsy! Patience! Joy! Acceptance! Understanding! Awesome!
Think about that this week.
Right now, though, go make yourself a superhero.
Remember how we assbooked? Now it’s time for superherobooking. Make your superhero and then make that your profile picture. Unlike all those other puny superheroes in the comic books, we aren’t going to hide ourself behind a disguise. We’re going to show people what we’re made of.
My superhero looks like this:
Her name is Octohoopa.
I laugh every time I see her, especially after commenting on friends pages on facebook.
When you make yours and have it up as a profile picture, give a shout out on the freeplaylife facebook page so I can check your badass superhero out!
Share TweetKe$ha Is Right.
We are almost one full month complete through the Freeplaylife 52 Week Challenge! By now you might be saying to yourself,
“wtf!”
as in
“what does dressing like a superhero, compiling a playlist of songs, talking about what I want, remembering who I was, and showing my ass to the free world have to do with anything?! I didn’t sign up for this!”
It’s true no one really signed up for this little experiment, I kinda blog blitzed you with it. I also might have said if you didn’t do this you “were dead to me”, and that was kind of harsh. But since the beginning of January, over 500 people have signed up and joined in…ass picture and all! I think what people–you–are responding to is that I really really don’t want this to be a self help “thing”. I want it to be a celebration, bitches! I realized last year, after reading lots and lots of messages from people asking how to have the kind of attitude and life I talk about here at freeplaylife, that there isn’t a magical formula. And the answer is so simple it will shock and awe you.
You already are freeplaylife. All the fun, whimsy, patience, excitement, joy, and positivity is already part of you. Have you ever held a newborn baby in your arms? Maybe your own child? And in that moment, you realized how complete and perfect they were. Just laying there, not doing shit. Maybe hiccuping. Eyes unfocused, legs not able to walk, hands not able to draw or write or paint, mouth unable to talk…and yet, they are perfectly who they are supposed to be. That is you. Just, bigger now.
It’s not about what you do or don’t do. What you look like or don’t look like. You are a bigger picture than your details. To paraphrase the distinguished Ke$ha, you R who U R!
In fact, being ‘freeplaylife’ is so much a part of you that I don’t want you to change who you are at all, ever. What I want in these challenges is to help you remember who that is. What you want. How you feel. What makes you happy. How to get that for yourself. These challenges are geared towards helping you step out of the cycles of shame, grief, fear, and doubt that so often distort the lenses that you use to see yourself and the world around you. You are the key to unlocking the cages that are holding you back. Respect it!
When you can do this for yourself, it will be natural for you to encourage that in the people around you. Your relationships will take on extra depth and compassion. Patience and joy will flow. You will find a wellspring of awesome at your fingertips.
This whole year is going to be full of funny, silly, and ridiculous. I’ve found this is the best way to access the profound, deep, dark, difficult parts of ourselves we’d rather leave hidden. Those are the parts that keep you resistant to a powerfully positive life. Anyone who assbooked realized how true that is. So ridiculous to put a picture of your ass on facebook…and yet so much more than that. Hitting the ‘share’ button was probably really intense, because underneath the silly is the question…do I accept myself? Am I ashamed of myself? Do I want others to really see me? Can I do this?
It’s the feeling of riding a roller coaster…there’s no way you would get on top of a building and leap off just for the thrill, the only thing that makes it tolerable is how safely fun it is in an amusement park.
Consider your life is the amusement park, and get ready to go on some rides!
**These challenges are designed for anyone to join in at any time from where we’re at. Start on the current week, then take some time to look back at past challenges to work on as the mood strikes! Thanks to everyone who is sharing this 52 weeks challenge on twitter and facebook as well as uploading self portraits with the tag #fplphoto !**
Week One: Listen to what you need. Then get it.
Week Two: Others can’t see you if you don’t see yourself first. So start by taking self portraits!
Week Three: Go back and remember what you were like growing up. Find that playful kid and bring her along on your journey.
Week Four: Find a theme song to remind you that you are a badass superhero!
Week Five: Find what things you’d like to wear that complete your superhero costume. What’s your style?!
Dress You Up In My Love!
Can clothes really lead to enlightenment? Does what we wear affect how we feel? Is it possible to get tired of Madonna singing this song?
Yes, yes, and no.
Literally, maybe not. Like, clothes don’t literally take us to nirvana. Unless you’re talking about wearing these fierce pair of Steve Madden heels which manage to be both sky high AND as comfortable as sneakers. But when approached from a certain state of mind, clothes are to our outside body what fruits and veggies are to our inner body…nourishing and a real energy boost. When you are wearing something that speaks to you, like my rainbow socks do to me, then you carry that feeling with you into the rest of your day.
When I decided to focus on buying/wearing things that I connect to, I notice that it really does make a difference. Especially because I need to supplement my closet with second hand store and Target items that are more functional that inspirational. But when I pair them with something I love, like my octopus necklace or favorite pair of socks, then they get elevated to a happier level. My life has been elevated to a happier level, actually, once I found a fashion sense that spoke to me.
It took me a while to get myself to my own fashion statement. Like I mentioned before, I let my mom dress me well into college. And then once I had young kids I didn’t have time to care about it, which was just fine with me since it was so intimidating anyway. So there I was, 36 years old, before I found the magical connection to loving clothes and using them as a powerful form of self expression.
Here’s the thing…it takes a strongly developed sense of self to have a really strongly developed sense of style. The beautifully fun thing is that one can lead to the other, and if getting to know yourself is a struggle then do it the other way around. Find what you like to put on yourself and you will quickly find it connects to something you learn about yourself on the inside.
Don’t get frustrated, start small. Many of you took your ass out shopping for new panties before you did all the assbooking. Perfect! Etsy has so many little trinkets to wear for between $15-25 dollars…a camera ring. An animal necklace. Symbol earrings. Cute patterned tights. Instead of freaking out about not being able to put a whole outfit together without panicking, start with a specific body part and find something for it. Cute gloves, a headband, a belt…anything! I started with a skull bikini, which was one of the first things I bought because I loved it and it spoke to me.
Then, the rainbow socks. Then long socks in general, which I discovered look really nice with cute shorts or a lacy flowing dress. And then it built upon itself from there. You can see the combination in most of the pins I’ve put up on pinterest. And then, a year later…BAM! My very own style. It’s just as easy to pull on a pair of leggings, long socks, and flowy dress and feel *myself* as it is to pull on sweats, a t shirt, flip flops** and feel *meh*. **not that there’s anything wrong with this, if it’s your style. LOL. I’m just saying, it’s not my style and I feel *meh* about wearing that particular ensemble!
Ask a friend whose sense of style you admire more about how they pick things out. Ask them to be a personal shopper when you go out to treat yourself to something! I realize getting a brand new wardrobe overnight is unrealistic, but start with an article at a time. And remember, pinning inspirational clothes/accessories to pinterest is totally free but just as capable at developing at ‘style’!
This challenge is about taking your life and elevating it up a notch or 10. Going from ordinary to extraordinary. You, my dear bitches are already uberextraordinary, so there’s no reason why your clothes shouldn’t be too!
Share TweetThe Art of the Dress Up
When I say the “art of dress up”, I don’t mean “dressing up” because that connotes getting all fancy for some fabulous affair, and how often does that happen?!
OK, actually, strike that. I totally mean dressing up. The art of dressing up where the person getting all fancy is you, and the fabulous affair is your fucking life!
BOOM!
If your life isn’t the most fabulous, awesome, fancy affair ever, then what is?! What more is there than life? Even as messy, loud, crazy, and stinky as it can get.
Playing dress up isn’t anything new. 2 year olds use anything and everything to wrap up in and play pretend…blankets, bubble wrap, toilet paper, the cat… 4 year olds could make every day Halloween with all the specialty dress up clothes available…princess, animal, wizard, flapper, astronaut, etc. etc. 6 year olds select quite interesting outfit choices for their school/daily life…
It gets trickier as we get older, because we’re expected to grow out of silly things like that, but our need to dress up…try new things out…doesn’t go away. And it shouldn’t! Dressing up is like trying out new possibilities. It’s a way to experience something without committing to it. A tattoo is permanent, but fishnets and high heels are just for the night! It’s also a great way to self express and embrace a kind of creativity that becomes art on our bodies. Our entire attitude can change depending on if we’re wearing something tight and restrictive versus flowy and soft.
This week’s challenge (don’t forget to set up a pinterest category for your superhero outfit(s)!) is designed to plug you back in to that free spirited, energetic, devil may care self that found it totally appropriate to go grocery shopping in a mask, witch hat, polka dotted shirt and matching (not really matching) striped pants. Or, of course, the little girl that used to eat pb&j’s in a freaking princess dress.
It’s not about image, it’s not about cost, it’s not about what other people will think, it’s not about practicality, it’s not about size or shape or weight. It’s about you, bitches. It’s about fancy and imagination and dreams and joy and feel and interest and love and pizzaz!
The world doesn’t need heroes. The world needs strong women who self express. To self express you need three things: to know your self, to know what you want to express, and then to break out of your shell and actually express it! When you do this for yourself, you can so easily support and encourage it from the people around you. This makes for amazingly awesome connections as a mom, friend, daughter, wife, and person.
Look around you. This is your life. Not what it will be if you lose 15 pounds, not what it was 5 years ago when you were happy, not next week when you get a haircut or 3 days ago when someone finally recognized something you did. Your fancy life is happening right now. Show up for it. Dress up for it! Surround yourself with happy, even in the things you wear.
Make a pinterest category for things to put on your body that inspire you.
Look in your closet and donate anything that doesn’t inspire you or give you happy feelings–even when accessorized. I guarantee that it will inspire and give happy feelings to someone else, and then you will have given a gift from something that would have gone unworn and unloved.
Look in your dresser drawers and donate anything that doesn’t scream “I’M A FUCKING SUPERHERO AND I LOVE THIS! IT’S SOOOOO ME!”. You will receive the gift of uncluttering your life and making space for something awesome.
Before you buy anything to wear, think about it. Does it match up with your dreamy pinterest wish list? Does it make you tingly inside? Does it fit in with your superhero persona? If not, pass on it and wait for that certain something to appear.
You got this!
Share Tweet52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 5
Hello, and welcome to a new week’s challenge! I don’t know about you guys, but I really look forward to Monday’s now. Before, this day was just another boring start to a regular week of stuff. Now? I know that I’ll post a challenge and then you all will take it and run with it, and that leads to some pretty silly shenanigans. Like, assbooking. I never know what you guys are going to come up with next!
For all those that are new to freeplaylife, welcome aboard and come join our party. Ride this crazy train, bitches! Its destination is the best year of our lives, regardless of what issues we’ve got going on. Because a good year doesn’t depend on what’s going on around us, but what’s going on inside us! I’ve devised a series of 52 weeks of challenges to help us get to that goal of awesome.
Week One: Listen to what you need. Then get it.
Week Two: Others can’t see you if you don’t see yourself first. So start by taking self portraits!
Week Three: Go back and remember what you were like growing up. Find that playful kid and bring her along on your journey.
Week Four: Find a theme song to remind you that you are a badass superhero!
For this week we will be expanding our superhero repertoire. You already know you are one thanks to digging around in your past and seeing how badass you’ve always been. You have the theme song/soundtrack, thanks to last week. But you need more. MORE! Now that you have some groovy tunes to shake your ass too, you need a little something something extra.
You need a superhero costume.
Relax, I’m not talking spandex or lycra here. Unless that’s what you like. I’m talking more practical, but still literal. What do you literally have on right now? Are you crazy in love with a majority of the things surrounding your body, or did you just put them on because you bought them when they were the closest things to you in Target and all the kids started screaming for pop tarts?
Something happens to our fashion when we have small mouths to feed and kids running around everywhere. Our budget decreases. Our time to shop alone decreases. Our inclination to get anything we like decreases when we think about all the potential encounters with spit up/leaky diapers/vomit/markers/errant and exuberant scissors. Our energy decreases due to being on call 24/7. Our bodies change, so what we thought we liked just doesn’t look the same anymore. Our priorities shift…what we wear isn’t as important as a plethora of new concerns like, are the hot dogs cut up small enough for the 4 year old and why is there 10 pounds of flour all over the kitchen floor.
So what to do? What to do?! Luckily, there’s pinterest for that. Start a board for everything you see that you would love to put on or around you. Here’s mine! Start a pinning frenzy. This is for inspiration and pure fun. Pin things even if you don’t think they would look good on you. Pin things even if you think they would be too expensive. Pin things even if you think it might be “too young” or “too old” looking. Pin the ridiculous, the crazy, the colorful, the loud! Pin the funny, the extreme, the too fancy!
This isn’t about spending more money on what you wear. It’s about maximizing your purchasing when you spend money anyway. You are going to buy clothes/shoes/accesories. When you do, make it mindful instead of a rushed grab on your way to the next errand! This is a chance to get back in touch with the girl that used to spend hours making and then coloring outfits with Fashion Plates. Or, actually, a chance to get to know that girl for the first time. I personally never played with Fashion Plates, even though I know I had it when I was 9. Instead, I let my mom dress me all the way through college. True Story. It’s only been in the last 2 years that I’ve explored this side of my badass superhero alter ego, and it was waaaaay overdue.
If I wouldn’t have reconnected with what makes me happy to put on, then I would have missed out on two awesome years of the rainbow socks. And let me tell you, the rainbow socks have seen some seriously epic shit, and if they were to write a tell all it would be a bestseller. I know they’re only inanimate objects, but me + them = magic. They will always be in my life, even if they make me look a little like Pippi Longstocking.
This kind of superhero costuming is a vital part of a freeplaylife. This is coming from a girl who was taught and believed that fashion and looking good was a bit on the sinful side and an obvious sign of conceit and self absorption. Fuck that. We gots to get our groove on, bitches! When you’re shaking your ass to some mighty fine superhero grooves, start thinking about covering it with some mighty fine things that make you look as awesome on the outside as you feel on the inside.
Share TweetLet The Music Play!
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
Now that you have some music, what are you going to do with that music? I’ll tell you…you are going to spin some sweet tunes! You are going to freak like a maniac! You are going to get glow sticks and flashlights and stay up late with your kids and your husband/significant other (or, self, in my case! ha…) dancing until you can’t dance anymore.
I’ll know you’re doing this because I’ll see all the selfies you instagram/twitter/facebook (tagged #fplphoto or @freeplaylife) that you take while singing and dancing. Bwahhahahaa, there will be no cheating or slacking off, bitches! I’m watching you! This is good stuff right here. I’ve listened to the songs you’ve added to the freeplaylife facebook wall, and that is some great danceable ass shaking music!
Here’s why it’s important to DO SOMETHING with the music, not just sit and listen to it: there is a connection between body movement and self awareness. And I’ll let you in on something. It was kind of douchey of me to ask you right off the bat, week 1, to start asking for what you wanted/needed. Honestly, 99% of the people walking around you at any one moment have no freaking clue about their own needs. That’s why 99% of the people also carry a heavy burden of un-fun and un-whimsy. And if you are still struggling to define just what it is that makes you tick or how to get it, don’t worry. You’ve spent your whole life being told not to be selfish and to think of other people first. It takes a while to break out of that and go for what you want.
Dancing, or any other physical activity, puts you in your body. It’s a free and joyful self expression that anchors you to your core. It makes you present to your own presence. Do that. Be there. Feel yourself move.
At first you may feel self conscious about moving your body around. Don’t be. You’re a fucking superhero, remember? I never once heard Wonder Woman ask if her shiny leotard made her ass look fat, or complain that running around doing epic shit made her tummy jiggle too much. The more you move in your body, the less spazzy it feels. One thing is certain, kids do this brilliantly. They don’t even have to dance as if no one was watching…they just dance even if everyone is! This summer I was eating dinner by an open and empty dance floor with tons of people walking past, eating, milling about. Live music playing. The only people that ever walked out and started grooving were kids 10 and under. They didn’t care that everyone was watching, in fact they loved it more. Why and when do we ever stop marveling at our own ability to move around in the awesome and amazing body we have?
Extra gold star this week if you happen to take a picture of yourself dancing in your underwear.
Go get em, tiger!
Share TweetEvery Song Tells A Story.
And every story needs a song. I’m not sure when it happens, but invariably we discover that somewhere along the line we stopped listening to music for us and started listening to music for babies that makes us want to beat ourselves repeatedly in the face with the nearest bottle/diaper wipes container/sippy cup. I don’t think Barney the purple dinosaur is popular anymore, but I still have traumatic flashbacks anytime I hear the number “3″. (My hat it has 3 corners…anyone remember that?) I weep for what Dora, Diego and Kai-lan have done to the musical taste of generations of our children.
Music is too important to let go of. So let’s put it back into our lives, starting with our own personal theme song. Not just any theme song, though. Your superhero theme song. There’s a difference.
For instance, I could very easily make U2′s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” into my 2012 theme song. However, this song makes me want to find a couple bottles of Irish Whiskey and drink until I cant cry and/or drunk text anymore. That’s not exactly what I’m looking for in my life!
Anything by Pat Benatar is badass and can be included on any playlist anywhere…
Here are some tips to finding your perfect Superhero Theme Song that won’t make you want to crawl into a corner sobbing into a mason jar full of wine:
It makes you want to shake your ass! You know the ass that you love right this very second? Yeah. Shake it like a polaroid picture!
It inspires you to do epic shit! whiny, angsty songs have a time and a place…but this isn’t the time or place. You’ve got shit to do!
It makes you happy! You know that kind of happy that only music brings? The feeling that starts from deep inside and makes every cell dance? Ya. Listen to more of that!
It means something to you. Music is poetry set to music…those are two really powerful tools for personal insight. Use it to their full potential and bring awesome music back into your every day life.
It doesn’t have to reflect where you are right now, it can be an attitude or idea that you want to get to. I find that most of my inspirational songs give voice to an emotion, feeling, or strength that I just can’t quite model yet. So the songs model it for me until I can.
Incidentally, the better you know yourself, the better your song will resonate with you. So if you’ve been slacking on any of the challenges (week one, week two, or week three) now’s your chance to get all caught up. The more you see yourself, the more you’ll know what you like and need in your life!
I have a preeteen and a teenager in my house, so I have to fight for my right to groove to my playlist. They roll their eyes, they make disparaging sounds with their mouths, they point and cover their ears when I start up my spotify while I’m cooking. And then I start shaking my ass and singing my songs and who has the last laugh THEN?! Well, they do. I’ve decided being a mom to teens is kinda like being a voluntary laughingstock. But I don’t care because I can’t hear it over my loud music. They can suck it, mama’s got her groove thing going!
My song for 2012 is…
I hoop to this, I cook to it, I dance to it, I wake up to it, I drive to it, I say it in my head. I’ve been a quiet, shy, reserved, anxious person for most of my life (bwahahaha, I am NOT even KIDDING!) because I was more concerned with what other people wanted of me or thought of me. Because of that, no one has really known who I am, least of all me. Now, I gotta set people straight. When other people try to put me in a box that I don’t want to be in, instead of just going with it I have an alarm in my head that sings, “THAT’S NOT MY NAME!” I can’t ignore it!
So, what about you? Have you found your song(s) yet?
I’ve compiled a bunch of mine in a spotify playlist, and I’ve pinned some theme song videos to my pinterest “It’s All About Me, Bitches!” pinterest board.
So what are some songs on your Superhero Theme Song playlist?
Share TweetA Tale Of Two Asses.
Hi there! Let me introduce you to my ass! It’s the one on the left. My younger sister’s ass is on the right.
I told her all about the spontaneous ass mobbing of facebook/instagram/twitter. (check out the #fplphoto hashtag!) I told her how some people dropped trou and bared ass without a second thought. I told her how some people said they would do that, if only their ass was thinner/less dimply/shapelier/better. I told her how I wished every woman could embrace their ass exactly how it was right now.
“Wouldn’t it be hard? To embrace your own ass? It would be easier if every woman could embrace their friends ass, instead.”
My sister, she’s a smartass.
I told her that tons of women were leaving comments comparing their asses to other people’s asses, and it was stopping them from enjoying their own as much.
“Every ass is different!” I yelled quietly. “You can’t ever have someone else’s ass! All we have is what we’ve got! I mean, look at us! We’re from the same mom and dad, and our asses have always been totally different.” I asked her if we could do an impromptu ass photoshoot and she was all in. “With pants? Or without pants?!” she asked.
My sister, she’s a badass.
BOOM. Here’s her ass. It’s mighty mighty. It once almost gave Golfer a concussion when he was 2. True story. She was trying to show me how to do a mean booty shake, and he inadvertently toddled up right as her ass was in rotation and it knocked him back like an explosion. That’s how powerful it is.
BOOM. Here’s my ass. It’s mighty. It’s never almost given someone a concussion, though. But it’s still awesome! It once ran 13 miles straight! It cushions me when I sit down, and can do some amazing things with a hula hoop!
My sister and I, we used to compare our asses. I was jealous that she could fill out her jeans and have such a bounce in her walk.
She was jealous that mine could hide in clothes and be so petite.
But now, we love what we have. We’ve stopped comparing, because that only leads to malcontent and unhappiness. Plus, it’s kind of insulting to something that works it’s ass off for us. If asses had asses, that is. Anyway, we’re happy that we have healthy, joyful asses. Every ass deserves it’s own dance party, so we danced. We shook our groove things and got DOWN with our bad selves!
Can your ass dance? Can it groove? Does it help get you from place to place? Does it cushion you when you sit? Does it feel when someone slaps it for a job well done?
If so, then you have a mighty fine ass. I hope you love it. I hope you don’t try to hide it or ignore it. I hope you have dance parties for it! And…I hope you show it. Have your own ass photoshoot. Embrace what you have. It’s a part of you, and as such, it’s divine!
Asses up, bitches!
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