52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 7!
This is the last challenge of February, and it completes the “Superhero” theme of the month. Next week will start a brand new month with a brand new theme and brand new awesome challenges…keeping the ideas that we’ve already worked with but expanding them in a different area of your life.
I’ve asked you to think about yourself as a child and build your own superhero persona because you’ll need both of them along on this journey towards a more authentic, joyful, whimsical life. The idea sounds so frivolous and easy, but it actually will be one of the more growth inducing and challenging efforts you’ll ever undertake. If it weren’t so difficult, we’d all be those things already!
Last week you created your own superhero, and I also shared a picture of my superhero tools:
These are the things that make my heart happy. Not just happy, but whole. I wholeheartedly love these things! As you can see, it doesn’t require much: a hula hoop, some hipster sunglasses, a little sparkly body glitter, long colorful socks, my Canon camera, and my chucks.
This week, think about what your superhero tools are and take a picture of them. If you’re on instagram or twitter you can tag them with #fplphoto so I can find them! If you don’t have a way to share the photo (or, take one…although it boggles my mind that not everyone has the need to take 4385048950 pictures a day like I do!) you can leave a description of your tools in the comments on the blog or on the freeplaylife facebook page!
Figuring out what your tools are can be difficult, because it requires you to have a pretty good understanding of what makes you happy and what you want in your life. Usually I’m too busy mopping floors, folding laundry (or, at least stuffing the clean stuff into piles to maybe be folded if a miracle of organization occurs before they need to be worn again), feeding hungry mouths and administering copious amounts of TLC to my kids to really have time to think about that kind of ‘self actualization’ shit. But I’m here to reinforce the idea that the best way you can fill the needs of your family is to make it a priority to fill your needs also. So as tricky as it is, take some time to think about your superhero tools: the things that you love in your life; either what you wear, listen to, eat, craft, are good at, or use as a hobby.
Don’t blow this challenge off! I know there are some of you that like to lurk along and pick and choose. And that’s cool. I’m all about saving energy and slacking off when the time is right…hitting things hard when they’re worth my time. To those of you like me, let me just say that whether you think this is worth your time or not, IT IS TOTALLY WORTH YOUR TIME. SO DO THIS ONE, BITCHES!
I’m sorry I yelled at you. I hate to yell at you. But sometimes you’re kind of stubborn and ornery. And sometimes I need to emphasize!
I’ll expand on this idea tomorrow, but in the meantime, think about your superhero tools and start compiling them in one place for a photoshoot.
LET’S DO THIS THING!!!!!!!
read more52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 6!
Bitches! We have 2 weeks left to establish our superhero status. You are a superhero…have been since birth…but now’s your chance to really claim it this year. So far this month we’ve found our theme song and discovered a little more what our superhero garb is. Even if you’re still not sure about either of those things, the point is you’re on the lookout. As long as you’re aware of what you’re looking to find, things have a way of finding you out!
This week, challenge #6, is all about superhero tools.
Spiderman has his sticky strong web.
Thor has his mighty big hammer.
He Man has his hefty sword.
Batman has lots of things all over…fancy belt, cool car…he’s tricked out.
Wonder Woman has her lasso of truth. (wtf is that shit?!? I’ve always thought she got robbed, even when I was 9 and watching the Justice League. A lasso? That makes people tell her the truth?! Lame!)
What do you have to help you along on this journey through life?
What are the tools that helps your superhero ass out?
What does your superhero look like?
I’ve thought about this question for the last 2 years. It’s taken me about that long to figure it out, but I’ve never been accused of being a quick study. Do you want to see what my tools are? The things that keep me going on this freeplaylife path of awesome?
All I need:
badass Hula Hoop
chucks
hipster sunglasses (or some sweet aviator shades, but my last pair just broke)
long patterned socks
body glitter
DSLR camera
For whatever reason, my psyche has attached more than a surface meaning to these items. These give me a ridiculous amount of joy in my life, which I didn’t know until I started asking myself “what do you want? what makes you happy?” The same questions you’re asking yourself. If you don’t have the answers, like I didn’t at first, then do what I did: explore. push past your own comfort boundaries. say yes to experiences you’d normally say no to.
The year I spent in WeHo was a whirlwind of new sights and sounds. Mom’s night out up there in the big city consisted of drum circles, luchador wrestling , burlesque performances, tandem yoga on the beach, bar crawls, and back alley musical concerts. I’d never done any of that, but opened my life up in an attitude of yes and so decided to just jump in and try. I even took regular pole dancing classes that a friend offered. I didn’t continue with the pole when I moved down to the OC, but it’s where I learned about body glitter and that goes with me everywhere!
Your superhero tools will be things that you do just for you. They are the things that soothe you after a stressful day. They will fill you up with a happiness independent of what you’re doing, where you are, what has happened. They’re almost like security blankets, or a calm in the storm. Maybe you garden after a long day? Knit? Drink wine? Sing? Sew? Scrapbook? Take pictures? Draw/paint? Do yoga? Your tools would then be knitting needles, garden tools, a wine glass, a microphone, needles or yarn, scissors, a camera, and/or charcoal pencils/paintbrushes.
I hoop. I’ll talk more about it this week. But, my superhero tool is my hoop. When I’m hooping, time melts away. Stress melts away. I feel like I step into a protective bubble of awesome. I tap in to this thing called “flow” that is like floating down a peaceful river. This is what your tool(s) will help you feel like. Please note, your level of ability with your tool of choice can be craptacularly terrible and it still counts. It’s not how well you do with it, but just that you do it! If you feel pulled to sing, no matter what your voice sounds like, then sing. If you find calm and happy while drawing, then no matter how basic you are, just draw.
Some of you will automatically know what your tools are. Some of you, like me, won’t have a clue at first. Finding your superhero tool is a bit like falling in love…that crazy kind of overwhelming happiness that puts a spring in your step and gives you something to think about almost obsessively. You can’t wait to get your hands on it, and hate to leave when you have to.
Don’t settle for anything less than that. Things that make you feel like that are transformative catalysts that lead to powerful personal growth. And that’s what we’re after this year. Whimsy! Patience! Joy! Acceptance! Understanding! Awesome!
Think about that this week.
Right now, though, go make yourself a superhero.
Remember how we assbooked? Now it’s time for superherobooking. Make your superhero and then make that your profile picture. Unlike all those other puny superheroes in the comic books, we aren’t going to hide ourself behind a disguise. We’re going to show people what we’re made of.
My superhero looks like this:
Her name is Octohoopa.
I laugh every time I see her, especially after commenting on friends pages on facebook.
When you make yours and have it up as a profile picture, give a shout out on the freeplaylife facebook page so I can check your badass superhero out!
Share Tweet52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 5
Hello, and welcome to a new week’s challenge! I don’t know about you guys, but I really look forward to Monday’s now. Before, this day was just another boring start to a regular week of stuff. Now? I know that I’ll post a challenge and then you all will take it and run with it, and that leads to some pretty silly shenanigans. Like, assbooking. I never know what you guys are going to come up with next!
For all those that are new to freeplaylife, welcome aboard and come join our party. Ride this crazy train, bitches! Its destination is the best year of our lives, regardless of what issues we’ve got going on. Because a good year doesn’t depend on what’s going on around us, but what’s going on inside us! I’ve devised a series of 52 weeks of challenges to help us get to that goal of awesome.
Week One: Listen to what you need. Then get it.
Week Two: Others can’t see you if you don’t see yourself first. So start by taking self portraits!
Week Three: Go back and remember what you were like growing up. Find that playful kid and bring her along on your journey.
Week Four: Find a theme song to remind you that you are a badass superhero!
For this week we will be expanding our superhero repertoire. You already know you are one thanks to digging around in your past and seeing how badass you’ve always been. You have the theme song/soundtrack, thanks to last week. But you need more. MORE! Now that you have some groovy tunes to shake your ass too, you need a little something something extra.
You need a superhero costume.
Relax, I’m not talking spandex or lycra here. Unless that’s what you like. I’m talking more practical, but still literal. What do you literally have on right now? Are you crazy in love with a majority of the things surrounding your body, or did you just put them on because you bought them when they were the closest things to you in Target and all the kids started screaming for pop tarts?
Something happens to our fashion when we have small mouths to feed and kids running around everywhere. Our budget decreases. Our time to shop alone decreases. Our inclination to get anything we like decreases when we think about all the potential encounters with spit up/leaky diapers/vomit/markers/errant and exuberant scissors. Our energy decreases due to being on call 24/7. Our bodies change, so what we thought we liked just doesn’t look the same anymore. Our priorities shift…what we wear isn’t as important as a plethora of new concerns like, are the hot dogs cut up small enough for the 4 year old and why is there 10 pounds of flour all over the kitchen floor.
So what to do? What to do?! Luckily, there’s pinterest for that. Start a board for everything you see that you would love to put on or around you. Here’s mine! Start a pinning frenzy. This is for inspiration and pure fun. Pin things even if you don’t think they would look good on you. Pin things even if you think they would be too expensive. Pin things even if you think it might be “too young” or “too old” looking. Pin the ridiculous, the crazy, the colorful, the loud! Pin the funny, the extreme, the too fancy!
This isn’t about spending more money on what you wear. It’s about maximizing your purchasing when you spend money anyway. You are going to buy clothes/shoes/accesories. When you do, make it mindful instead of a rushed grab on your way to the next errand! This is a chance to get back in touch with the girl that used to spend hours making and then coloring outfits with Fashion Plates. Or, actually, a chance to get to know that girl for the first time. I personally never played with Fashion Plates, even though I know I had it when I was 9. Instead, I let my mom dress me all the way through college. True Story. It’s only been in the last 2 years that I’ve explored this side of my badass superhero alter ego, and it was waaaaay overdue.
If I wouldn’t have reconnected with what makes me happy to put on, then I would have missed out on two awesome years of the rainbow socks. And let me tell you, the rainbow socks have seen some seriously epic shit, and if they were to write a tell all it would be a bestseller. I know they’re only inanimate objects, but me + them = magic. They will always be in my life, even if they make me look a little like Pippi Longstocking.
This kind of superhero costuming is a vital part of a freeplaylife. This is coming from a girl who was taught and believed that fashion and looking good was a bit on the sinful side and an obvious sign of conceit and self absorption. Fuck that. We gots to get our groove on, bitches! When you’re shaking your ass to some mighty fine superhero grooves, start thinking about covering it with some mighty fine things that make you look as awesome on the outside as you feel on the inside.
Share Tweet52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 3
Another week, another challenge! Are you ready?! The goal: creating a life for ourselves and our families in which we are playful, energized, present, engaged, joyful, and not stressed the fuck out all the time. How we’re going to get there: completing a challenge every week, one week at a time. Here’s the exciting part, bitches…as long as you keep on keeping on with this, I am going to have a super awesome give away at the end of every month. That means THIS WEEK will be the give away! I’ll have more on that tomorrow, because I’m behind a week and actually forgot this week is the end of January…I thought I had more time. heh heh. oops. Anyway, I’ll let you know more about that…pardon my dust…
Once these challenges are issued there is no stop date…the specific week lasts 7 days before we move on to another one…but please feel free to continue to work on the challenges simultaneously. Like you would eat a layered cake…just dive in! Eventually we’ll have a 52 layered emotional chocolate cake of awesome to feast on!
Some challenges you will love. Others you will hate. Some will be easy and fun, others will be emotional and hard. Send me candy and love notes when you love what you’re doing for the week. And feel free to throw a temper tantrum and push pins into a voodoo doll on the weeks that you hate what you’re doing…as long as you do it! Just humor me!
The last couple challenges have asked you to really look at yourself…what do you want and need? Are you getting that? Do people really see who you are? Do you see yourself? This week is no different. The foundations of a freeplaylife are built around you, so you need to be crystal clear about who you authentically are. This is a tall order! So let’s get digging!
This week I’d like you to:
Excavate!
Unearth!
Become your own archaeologist!
Here’s how you will do this. Using Pinterest, I want you to create a visual timeline of your life. Where did you start? And then what happened? And then what? And what was after that? How old were you when you rode a bike for the first time? Had your first kiss? Got into really big trouble? Moved to a new hometown? Traveled out of the country? Where have you been? What was your first concert? And where are you now?
This is going to be all about you, bitches! Incidentally, I named my pinterest category “It’s All About Me, Bitches!” so you can sense there’s a theme here. I’ve pinned different places I’ve lived and things I’ve done in my life. A visual diary of sorts. I’m telling you, for this week’s challenge, it IS all about you. For all the times you felt selfish, narcissistic, or put down because you focused on you instead of “others”, let this be a safe place for you to dwell with yourself and see your life through your own personal lens.
this is me with the kids, schlepping them all around Jungfraujoch in Switzerland. Happy memory!!!
As you are doing this, try and relate to things as if you were an outside observer…like a historian or biographer trying to put the pieces of your puzzle together. If you have access to old boxes full of things from your childhood, spend time going through them. Take pictures of the memorabilia and pin it to your pinterest wall or post it to twitter/instagram/facebook (using the tag #fplphoto). Some memories will be great, and will probably be easy to remember. Some memories will be difficult to relive and will be harder to bring up. In those cases, take a step back and observe it from arms length. This is just a factual timeline. We’ll deal with the emotional baggage it may bring along with it later.
Pay attention to how in control you were in each event. Were the things that happened driven by you proactively, or were they reactionary dependent on someone else? Pay attention to any themes that come up, or any emotions the run like a current through your life. Piece yourself together with new fresh eyes. Learn about yourself as if you were reading a fascinating book. After all, you are the main character in the story of your life!
HOW TO QUALIFY FOR THE GIVEAWAY!
every time you upload a self portrait onto twitter and instagram with the tag #fplphoto, I’ll put your name into a mason jar. Every time you post a photo onto the freeplaylife facebook page, I’ll put your name into a mason jar. Everytime you tweet or facebook something about how you are doing with the weekly challenge and use the tag @freeplaylife, I’ll put your name into a mason jar! At the end of this week I’ll reach in and pull out a name and that person will get to claim the AMAZING and AWESOME give away gift. Which shall be revealed tomorrow. Because I’m kind of a slacker. But you already knew that…
Share Tweet52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 2
“Once you know who you really are, being is enough. You feel neither superior to anyone nor inferior to anyone and you have no need for approval because you’ve awakened to your own infinite worth. ~ Deepak Chopra
I’m not gonna beat around the bush for this next week’s goal. I’m gonna come out and say it like a gansta. This next week, in addition to continuing to speak up for yourself, you are also gonna represent.
GET IN THE GAME!
SHOW UP!
BE SEEN!
A lot of the feedback I got from last week was that sometimes even when you asked for what you needed, no one listened. It’s a very invisible feeling. If being invisible was a feeling, which it’s not. But you know what I mean! It’s always nicer to feel like someone really sees you, and listens when you talk. So lets go back a step. Before expecting other people to see you, first you have to see yourself. And for this week’s challenge, I mean that in a very literal way. Oh yeah, bitches.
IT’S TIME TO GET IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA!
For this week, instead of the one taking all the pictures with your iphone/point and shoot/DSLR, I want you to hand it off to someone else to document YOU interacting with the people you were going to take a picture of. This can be a spouse, friend, and even one of your kids. Age doesn’t matter, even if it’s your 3 year old doing the snapping. In fact, some of the best pictures EVER are from the younger set. EVER!
And, not to be pushy, but also just turn the camera around and take a couple self portraits for good measure. I’ll share some tips to a great self portrait tomorrow. For now, just think on it. The more you don’t want to do it, the more you should. I promise. I talk about all the reasons why taking self portraits is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your family in great detail here…it’s really worth a read!
I was going to take this picture of just the kids, but instead made it a quick little self portrait shot of all of us. It’s fun to switch from being the documenter to being a part of the adventure!
Here’s an example of what I mean…a video by Jessica over at Bohemian Bowmans. She’s teaching herself how to hoop dance (basically, getting jiggy with a hula hoop and doing awesome stuff with it!). One night she was practicing, and I can just imagine the exchange that happened next between her and her preteen daughter–”Hey, will you take a video of me hooping?” You can hear her in the beginning of the video saying (proudly) “This is my mom”. By the end of the video they are laughing together. And if that’s not a freeplaylife moment, then I don’t know what is.
But first she had to say the words. “Hey. Take a picture of me!” Unsaid was ‘..because I’m worth it.’ ‘…because I’m proud of this.’ ‘…because this is worth documenting.’
Other people will see and respect you only as much as you see and respect yourself. So take some time this week to really see yourself.
Are you down with it?!
Can I get a hellz yeah?!!
Happy snapping!
If any of you are doing iphone photography, I highly recommend the totally FREE instagram app. If you have it or are getting it, I’m freeplaylife…come find me!
Share Tweet52 Weeks To A Freeplaylife: Week 1
I’m not someone people look at and say, “Man, she’s super talented!” I’m OK with this. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t tried: 9 years of piano lessons and I can’t play a tune. A year of gymnastics and I can’t even do a handstand. 7 years of french and I can’t even order a croissant. However, what I lack in talent I make up for in sheer, unadulterated whimsy. If being whimsical and joyful were an olympic sport, I’d get the gold.
I’d never thought of this as a talent, but then people started offering to give me lots of money to take their kids and let them unschool with us. When I’d ask why they felt they couldn’t do it themselves, I’d hear stories full of fear, insecurity, and the heavy burden of being overwhelmed.
As much as I love money and kids and am tempted to create a little Freeplaylife Academy, I think it’s so much better if kids and parents, together, can learn to embrace life and explore all the amazingness it has to offer!
And so, I’m starting up a little weekly challenge for 2012 that will lead you towards a more freeplaylife. A life full of affirmation, resilience, confidence, security, laughter, joy, openness, connection and tons of pure fucking awesomeness! When you integrate these things into your life, it can’t help but rub off onto the people around you.
And so, to begin our first week….challenge #1!
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Speak your needs.
or, said another way…
Ask for what you want.
Remember when Priceline Negotiator helped me realize I had a fear of asking for what I wanted? Well, I kept at it. I Priceline negotiated the shit out of Colorado and Texas when we traveled through there. At one point, I got 67% off my stay at a Marriott…paying only 40$ a night…but only because I had the balls to ask for that price. It felt wicked good! So good in fact, that I started Priceline negotiating even when I wasn’t going through Priceline. I’d show up at hotels, they’d give me a price, and I’d cut it in half in my head and then tell them I really only wanted to pay “X” amount. And you know what? It totally worked. This has bled over into my normal life, too. Where once I was afraid to point out that a food order was wrong, or speak up, or draw attention to myself, or ask for something different that what someone wanted to give me…now I have very little problem doing any of that. It feels much better to respect my own needs rather than accommodating what someone else thinks my needs should be.
Every time you speak a need or verbalize a want, you are standing up for yourself. You are telling yourself that you are important, valuable…that you matter. No one can do this for you, because you are the only one who can look inside and know what it is you need. If you look inside and aren’t quite sure that you know what you want, then start small. In fact, start at Pinterest! You can “pin” things that you see all over the internet into little categories, like I’ve done on my page. Make one called “Things I Want” and fill it up with all sorts of things. Pictures of sunny skies, rainbows, smiling people, hands held tightly together, a little cottage, an old camera…this is what would be in mine. Once you know what you want, you can start asking for it.
There is a direct correlation between how much of your own needs you are fulfilling and how patient and tolerant you are to other people’s needs. The more fulfilled you are, the more patience you have for others.
And let’s face it, kids are the neediest bastards around town. They ask and need and ask and need and ask and need and whine and cry and need and need all the freaking day. And night, too. Parenting is a 24/7 job. Kids are experts at going balls to the wall to get their needs met. At one point, you were also good at it…until The Man took you down. We are socialized to stop being good advocates for ourselves with labels like “selfish”, “bratty”, “obnoxious”, and “too loud”.
When I start feeling impatient and annoyed with how much I have to do for them and everyone else, I know that I haven’t been listening to or acknowledging what I need. And when you are unhappy or have needs unmet, then that’s the energy you give out to your family. Whenever I hear people say to their kids “you can’t always get what you want” or “don’t be a brat” or “I’m going to tell you no once and you have to just be quiet about it”, then I know that they have a serious deficit and aren’t getting what they need out of life.
It’s easy to put yourself last when you have kids/job/spouse/friends all taking up your time and energy, so I know this challenge will take some serious effort. However, if you can balance you with the rest of the free world, then you gain a magical ability to be more patient and resilient with everyone else. Because you are meeting your needs then you are happy to help others meet theirs.
You will also be modeling a really valuable tool for your kids–how to make themselves a priority and be able to make themselves happy. The older they get, the more this enables them to be less dependent on you. win/win!
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I hope you’ll join along on this 52 week journey towards a freeplaylife, and share it with your friends/family who want a little more fucking awesome in their lives too. Then, instead of just me making a small Freeplaylife Academy with only a few kids in it, you can be a part of creating an entire community of happy, joyful, connected, playful, whimsical parents and kids living the shit out of life!
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